Ways to annoy Norrington!
by Lord Commodore Norry
Summary: Title says all! Feel free to give me ways to annoy him! R&R! You will enjoy! Rated for safety.Last chapter has instructions on how to make your own Norrington doll.
1. Chapter 1

1.Say to him infront of all the soldiers, "Jamesie-poo needs to get a bathy-wathy!"

2.Pinch his cheek. (his face)

3.When he's taking a shower, flush the toilet 6 times in a row.

4. While he's still in the shower, take all his clothes and the towels and hide them around the house. your eyes, mock, and laugh at him when he comes out of the shower in his birthday suit.

6.show naked baby pictures of him to Jack Sparrow, Govenor Swann, barbossa, and all the soldiers.

7. When he yells at you for showing them all the pictures, spank him.

8. Wake him up at 2:00 a.m. (It'll be funnier if he goes to bed late!)

9.ask his mom to tell you embarrasing stories of him.

10. When he's doing important buisness work, stand over his shoulder and constantly ask him, "are you done yet?"

11.FORCE him to play baseball with you and your friend.

13. constantly tell him lame jokes.

14. barge into the bathroom when he's in the shower.

15. Sing loudly when he's trying to sleep.

16. Tell the embarrasing stories of him that his mom told you to all of the people you showed the nude baby pictures.

17. Yell at him when he's around his friends, "NORRY! It's time to get your diaper changed!"

18. Say to him every three minuets, "Your dad was a pirate."

19. Tell him, "You smell funny!!"

20.Tell him, " That wig looks really weird!"

21. Ask him, " Why do you buy wigs that make you look like an ice-cream cone?"

22. Pour chocolate syrup, sprinkles, nuts, and candied cherries on him.

23.Do all of these in one day.

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	2. Chapter 3

48. sprinkle itching powder in his wig.

49. sprinkle itching powder in his underwear.

50. somehow, get honey all over the butt of his pants.

51. after you do number 50, push him into ant-hill full of red ants.

52. decorate his room in the classic 'pirates' theme, with tons of pictures of Jack sparrow.

53.Put posters in his room that say, "All commodores suck!"

54. replace his whole wardrobe with baby sized t-shirts that say, "Future pirate."

55.Show him a video of Elizabeth and Jack kissing, and tell him that even JACK got to kiss her.

56. Ask him too tell you the story behind "the day that he almosthung Captain Jack Sparrow at his next promotions banquet.

57. Ask him how he became a "rum pot deck hand who takes orders from pirates"

58. Ask him, "Do you think I'm pretty?"

59. If he says yes, ask "even prettier than Elizabeth?"

60. If he says no, say "Well at least I don't try to look like an ice cream cone!"

61. When he fails yet again to catch Captain Jack Sparrow, hold out your hankerchief too him imediatley following until he takes it.

62. Happily skip after him singing "Will and Lizzie, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

63. When he asks you too stop doing all these things you say, "Sorry, old habits and all o' that" and start doing all these things over again.

64. When he's putting his wig on in the morning, ask him, "Do you want whipped cream, chocolate syrup, or sprinkles with that wig,sir?"

65.sign him up for a bunch of teen girl magazines.

66.replace his wig with a clown's wig.

67. before you perform number 66, shave his head.

68. when he just gets up in the morning and is VERY groggy, help him brush his hair, and trim his beard. When he asks for the razor to shave his beard, hand him the hair brush. When he asks you to hand him the brush to brush his hair. When he starts shaving his hair, laugh your butt off.

69.Nagg him to let you cut his hair.

70.While you're cutting his hair, "accidentally" mess up.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

**I'm a big Norrington fangirl, and probably one of his biggest fangirls. So I'm sorry if any of this was crude. Don't forget to Review. Thank-you for reading, and hope you enjoyed!**


	3. How to make your own Norrington doll!

**I have had a request by my friend, Commodore Cuddles, on how to make a Norrington doll. So I thought that I would share the info with all you Norrington fans out there! Ain't I a good person?!?!**

1.Brown,peach, white, blue material  
2. (maybe) brown permanent marker  
3.white or brown yarn  
4.thread  
5.needles  
6. small gold buttons.

Here's how you do it:  
1.cut out a pattern. it you want to make the pants and upper torso seprate, then cut out seprate patterns. place the patterns over the peach material( for the arms,head, upper&lower torso, and legs if you please) and the white.( pants and shoes.)

2.cut out the shape of his head,arms, and upper torso on the peach material. (if you want to make it where you can take the pants off to put a pair of your daughter's Ken doll pants on him, then cut out the full body: head,arms, upper&lower torso, and legs on the peach material.

3.cut out the shape of the pants in the white material. (It helps if you cut out the feet so they're conjoined to the pants)

4.If you're sewing the pants and the upper torso together, then pinch together where the pants and torso, and sew them together

5. once you've done that on both pieces of material, then sew together his front and back.but make sure you leave a hole somewhere so you turn Norry rightside out, and so you can put the stuffing in.

6.turn the doll right side out, stuff it, and sew up th hole. The doll might be a lot smaller now then when he first started out.

7. time to make the jacket. take the blue material and measure to see how wide and long his arms are. Use that to cut out two rectangles. (ect. my doll's arms were 5 in. wide, so I cut out the rectangles to be 7 in wide. You need to have left over room to sew.)

8. stitch the long ends of the rectangles together. Those will be his arms.

9.cut out two holes and stitch the coat arms to them

10. it's pretty easy from now on. Draw a face on with the marker.

11. Measure his stomach, and then cut out how wide you want his white (or yellow) vest to be.

12. cut out two holes for his arms

(don't be to embarrassed if you get the vest wrong. It's harder than it sounds. My doll's stomach is hanging out of it a little, like a beer belly. Must be from all that rum…)

13. put vest on him, and then stitch it up, and put some of the gold buttons on it.

14.Time to make the lapel. Cut out two long triangular pieces of the white material, and sew them onto the part of the Jacket that lets his stomach show.

15. sew more of the gold buttons onto the lapel.

16. Take your brown or white ( brown if you want the young norrington or scruffington, white if you want the commodore or admiral) and hot glue or stitch it on.

**And there you have it! Your very own Norrington doll! Just PM me if you need any help! Good luck!**


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